Fifty-First Dragon

The story Fifty-First Dragon was great. Many lessons can be learned from it and I was very surprised to learn of Gawaine’s reaction to his realization of the magic word. It seems that anyone who would learn that what they accomplished was because of their own doing instead of a magic word that their confidence would boost. Poor Gawaine however did not find any more confidence in himself after learning the truth.  It was actually the ruin of his career and life. In some ways, I can relate to Gawaine sad little story.

I had one experience not too long ago that ruined all my chances of furthering myself in the work I was doing. It was door to door sales and if you have any experience doing it, then you know how hard it can be, especially when you are first starting out. Anyway, I had gone through a six week class preparing myself to knock on doors and sell cable door to door. Over the course of those six weeks I had gotten pumped to get out and make some money. I was so bored with the classes and ready to hit the pavement by the end of it.

As the first day rolled around I felt as if there was nothing that could stop me from making a boat load of cash and so I began. I pulled up to my first neighborhood and discovered that it was a retirement community. I did not let that stop me or get me worried. It was actually a great thing because people were home during the day and afternoon and I soon had many contacts. My confidence continued to soar as spoke with person after person having positive experiences at each door. In two days I had sold a number of packages and I felt as if I were getting high from the sales. I had good success in my first week there and soon I was out of doors to knock in the area so I requested more “turf” as we called it.

When I arrived at my new area It was easy to see that I wasn’t in old folks country anymore. I was in a normal suburban housing section. At first, I did not let anything get in my way and I starting knocking on doors with the same confidence as the retirement community. Door after door went by and there were not many people home. My confidence seemed to wane but I told myself that I just needed to catch people when they were home so I pushed on. The amount of time spent knocking on empty doors though took its toll and soon thoughts of doubt began to creep into my mind. The biggest and most debilitating was the one telling me “you can only sell to old people.”

That thought had crippled me. Days went by and my enthusiasm deflated quicker than it took to build it up. I found it hard to even think about going to work and the hours and minutes before it started were met with foreboding and dread. I kept telling myself that the initial success was a fluke and that it wasn’t because of my skills but of only pure chance.

Looking back on that experience I will say that I was a fool to believe such nonsense. It was definitely a lesson for my learning though and the experience I gained from it has been a real confidence booster. I have also now been able to understand better the debilitating effects of self doubt. Never again will I want to emulate Gawaine for that is the way of cowardice.

My World

My world revolves around the life I have with my wife. I do not think I would like to know any other. It is true, that we have only been together for 2 years or so but it feels as if we have spent the better part of eternity as companions. I mean that in a good way. There are all sorts of wonderful things to say about her. The best compliment that I could give though would have to be attributed to her good natured heart.  There is no better feeling than that of coming home to a woman who never has anything bad to say about anything or anyone.  Her laugh is quite something as well. It has the tendency to stir up a warm mirth and a genuine in smile even when in the worst of moods. I can really never be upset for very long when in her presence and that fact alone is worth its weight in gold.

It’s very interesting to me that when I had seriously started thinking about the type of woman I wanted to marry that I found exactly who I wanted. Don’t get me wrong, I never planned everything out to a tee but when I felt a longing in me stir for companionship a few years ago, I thought very seriously about what I wanted. I am very glad that I did that because there is nothing that I asked for that I didn’t get.  She is the woman of my dreams and I do everything I can do make sure she is aware of that fact.

Just as I am writing this I have thought of another wonderful attribute that she exhibits. She has made life really easy because she seems to never expect too much. There has yet to be an argument or even a quarrel over anything and I will give her the credit for that because of her expectations and her wonderfully patient attitude. I can be stubborn some times, or most times, and I must say that she knows exactly how to handle me which is another great attribute to add to our list.

I have never written something like this before so I do apologize if it seems a bit scrambled. It’s a lesson to me to realize that sometimes we can take the good things in our life for granted. So much so that it can be difficult to put it into words that are coherent enough to be read and understood plainly. It is also something else to realize how often the small things are the most important things. For example, I get the warmest feeling in my heart when I hear the smallest words of praise from my wife. My mood is lifted and my mind is calmed. I feel that I can take on the world with her by my side and that no mountain is too difficult to climb whenever we are together.

There is a saying that I never really understood until I got married. It goes “behind every great man stand a greater woman.” Now I can see the truth to that. I do not believe that I could ever be half the man I am and am becoming without her. There is no end to the motivation that is provided by her company. To end this post I feel to just add the words of one my favorite artists who sings “she gives me presents with her presence alone.” There is nothing better than having the love a good woman to go home to everday.